How to Order a Round of Drinks at a Bar
You’re in a bar with a group of friends. Everyone is having a fantastic time, exchanging stories, catching up on news, laughing, and enjoying one other’s company. They’ve all trickled in one by one, but now the whole crew is here, and it’s time to order a round for everyone.
Or you’re on your own. You’re having a drink at a restaurant bar, chatting with the bartender or winking at the lady on the other end of the line. You notice a table with a bunch of men with whom you do business. They’re all ordering beverages and appetizers while looking through the menu for dinner. Is it time to play a round of golf?
The Etiquette of Buying a Round: Honor, Hospitality, and Etiquette
The custom of purchasing a round of drinks for your friends and coworkers originated in the 19th century’s rule of hospitality and the honor culture Brett has been writing about recently. The host was expected to buy the first round of drinks for his guests, according to the code of hospitality. However, the guest was then required to purchase a round for his host.
This may appear strange – one of those seemingly insignificant aspects of etiquette. Was the host really exhibiting hospitality if the guest was forced to buy a round as well?
The act of purchasing a round of drinks was not intended to be a gift, but rather a symbolic one; by taking the initiative, a man proved that he was the host. However, by exchanging rounds back and forth, the guys were able to take turns serving as host and guest, demonstrating their equality. As a result, the ritual of buying rounds was created to foster male brotherhood by demonstrating that they were brothers in the same honor group.
Buying a Round When with a Group of Friends
Of all, who is the “host” and who is the “guest” these days isn’t always clear, and there are times when you just want to buy everyone’s drinks without any strings attached. When I used to work at a bar, we had customers who would fight over checks and who had to pay first. It was their turn, they’d all say. A handful of them became enraged when you chose the other individual to pay instead of them. Of course, the plan was to make a joke out of it and raise the stakes (read: tips) until someone caved in.
It eventually became an issue, so we implemented the “first card” rule: the first credit card I see for the tab gets used, no questions asked. If nothing had been settled yet when it was time to pay, the person who was first on the draw was the one who had to pay. It reduced squabbling and hurt feelings, but to my dismay, it also reduced the tip game!
If you’re meeting some pals at the bar, come in a few minutes early, give the bartender your card, and pay for all of your friends’ drinks.
If you’re meeting buddies at the bar, arrive a few minutes early, hand over your card, and tell the bartender, “Everything’s on me tonight.” When customers did that, their buddies understood it was going to be that way – no need for discussions.
Save a “everything’s on me” night for when you’re celebrating a special event with your friends. Otherwise, it can come across as a game of one-upmanship or a chance to show your wealth, which goes against the spirit of camaraderie that is intended to be at the heart of buying drinks.
But there’s never a terrible time to buy your buddies a round of drinks – a true gentleman sets the tone. Don’t do it in the hopes that your buddies will join in – though that is a possibility. Part of the hospitality inherent in the traditional initiative-taking host role was the danger that his guests might not observe protocol and reciprocate the gesture. If no one else sees the value in your round-buying approach, at least you gave it a try and learned not to do it again!
Whether the round buying has already begun when you arrive, inquire if anyone requires a drink and join the rotation. Take your turn in a manly manner. Within reason (it’s not fair to drink rail whiskey all night until you can’t pay, then switch to Pappy Van Winkle 23-year! ), buy anyone in your group whatever they want. Allow someone to forego getting a drink this round if they so desire. It’s not your responsibility to force them to drink; all you have to do is offer. It’s fine if they want to drink from the well. You should expect to pay for everyone’s drink when purchasing a round. There isn’t any more, and there isn’t any less.
Buying a Round for the Whole Bar or Celebrating
There will be times in your life when you want to celebrate a significant occasion with a group of friends and acquaintances from your regular hangouts. Is this a huge promotion? Is it true she said yes? Is it true that you’re having a boy? Buying a round for the entire bar should be a once-in-a-lifetime experience, but it should be done by everyone.
Telling the bartender what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, and whether or not you want the individuals receiving it to know who bought it is the ideal way. If you inform everyone you’re purchasing, I recommend carrying an extra liver because most people will give you one back, especially if you’re celebrating something significant. You should probably do this at a quiet bar rather than a crowded club or restaurant. Somewhere where you recognize the majority of the individuals or have at least seen them. Purchasing a drink for 30 people is costly, but purchasing a drink for 200 people is dumb.
When It Comes to Business Purchases
You spot a group of folks with whom you conduct business at a table and decide to buy them a drink. It doesn’t matter what the reasons are; there are enough. What’s the most efficient approach to go about it?
If you’re at a bar, ask the bartender to locate their server and have them come over to speak with you. Tell the server you wish to buy the table’s next round, or have it put on your check if it’s their last round. You definitely want people to know who’s buying in this case. If they welcome you to their table, you owe it to them to sit for at least one drink, if not two if they’re the ones paying the following round of drinks. Hopefully, it will assist you in obtaining what you require.
It may spark a shooting match if you’re at another table with coworkers and start firing off rounds of drinks to that same table. They’re purchasing, you’re purchasing, and so on. Try to keep it to a minimum, but if your clients are feeling generous, you might have to take one for the team. That’s just how things are sometimes.
Wherever a guy goes in life, and whatever position he finds himself in, he can always play host: fostering camaraderie, making people feel at ease, and making sure everyone has a wonderful time. When done in a spirit of hospitality and friendliness, buying a round can help you make any occasion warm and memorable.
