Making judgments about men
Most women have indulged in a session of male criticism with their girlfriends at some point. When they are tired of the males in their lives, many women indulge in this compulsive practice. Because it has a domino effect, it is addictive. Once a group of women start complaining about their less than ideal spouses, the other women in the group often join in, and a major bonding session about how “terrible” guys are usually starts. These dialogues significantly damage women’s relationships with males and their sense of self-worth since unfair generalizations are made.
This type of talk tends to become a natural response to any upset regarding their male partners, and the more often women engage in these so-called bonding sessions with their girlfriends or simply carry around this negative type of thinking, the more addictive and negative these thought processes become. However, there is a distinction between healthy venting to a female friend and continually complaining to one another about men in general. This is not to argue that there is anything wrong with venting when angry or sad. Maybe some females simply don’t get how harmful and damaging this behavior is.
Women may wonder: What about males who treat women poorly and have misogynistic attitudes about them. There are misogynistic males, no doubt about it, but not all men are misogynists. Like women, most guys are sincere, nice, and loving people who desire to be loved. Before I continue, I should make clear that I do not support any woman staying in a relationship with a man who is physically or emotionally abusive. Women who are somewhat dissatisfied with their male companion are the subject of this essay. I’m hopeful they’ll choose to make positive change instead of criticizing and judging the males in their lives.
How many times have you heard women launch generalized attacks on all men, or even just the males in their lives, when they are upset with their men? Several instances include:
Men lack consideration.
Men are egocentric
Men tend to lie.
Women are hurt by men.
Could it be that we women may change these generalizations into affirmations that males are good? These could be stated as:
Men are thoughtful
Men are kind.
Men are trustworthy, and they make us happy.
Is it feasible that a few more affirmations may be added to this list after we put our attention on maintaining a happy outlook? Positive behaviors and words will draw other positive behaviors since like attracts like. You can find the drawbacks in your relationships with guys if you look for them. If women truly believe that all of these criticisms of their partners are true, it is very likely that they harbor similar flaws as well. It’s true what they say, “What we see in others someplace exists in us.” It’s not simple to try to transform our limiting ideas into empowering ones, but it is possible.
In today’s world, having negative ideas and sensations has become addictive. This might be the first step towards closing the gender gap and overcoming our destructive dependencies. Perhaps it’s time for women to take a deep look in the mirror and conduct a thorough heart and mind search to uncover the truth. Women are more than capable of making improvements in this area; after all, we are society’s nurturers and carers. By utilizing our ability as women, we can change this negative mentality and make it positive.
It’s also likely that when we routinely disparage males, women unwittingly endanger their chances of developing closeness and intimacy with the guys in their life. Men are aware that women behave in this way. Does any woman out there really think that guys don’t know that we criticize them behind their backs? So they are aware. Men hate this kind of behavior since they are aware when we are suppressing negative thoughts. Men would rather communicate honestly and regard this as manipulating behavior. Any hope of our relationship growing into a loving one is lost if we constantly moan about our guys. Do women truly think their guys will be more forthcoming with them if they are continuously put on the spot?
Men want to be intimate and vulnerable with women, but they don’t know how. Men were taught to hide their emotions starting in early childhood. Although it is starting to be more accepted for guys to open out in today’s culture, many still don’t feel comfortable doing so. Since it comes far more naturally to us as women to express our sentiments, we could all benefit from being more conscious of this and comprehending it. Men are problem solvers and thinkers, but women are relationship and emotion focused. Women should keep in mind that men communicate intimacy in different ways and that they do it by doing things for us that men do not.
Many times, some women ask for a man’s intimacy for the wrong reasons. When in reality women should be taking care of their own needs and not expecting their man to continually fill them up emotionally, many women want their husbands to satisfy all of their emotional requirements. That is not to imply that a woman cannot express her demands to her male partner; nevertheless, she must be direct in doing so, and her request should never stem from undue dependence or insecurity. She must also be willing to accept his possible refusal. Relationships become unhealthy when neediness or insecurity are the foundation of the bond.
We women have the power to change this situation, but doing so does not mean you have to try to change your man. The trust you have developed in your relationship may gradually disappear if you try to change your partner. Who in their right mind would genuinely want their man to attempt to change her? Neither of us! Women have the power to begin narrowing the gap between themselves and men. Women can take steps to improve male-female relationships and get closer to the males in their lives. Women naturally possess certain skills; we only need to be aware of them and put them to use.
First and foremost, women need to focus more on themselves. Do we truly love ourselves? Do we feel good about ourselves? Are we treating ourselves with the same respect that we would our partner? To have a strong, loving connection with our male spouse, we must first show ourselves these kinds of loving behaviors. Women might begin paying close attention to what men need and like. When we are spending time with our girlfriends and harassing every male in the universe, our needs as men are most definitely not being taken into account. Think about this
Men prefer to feel appreciated and encouraged for their efforts.
Men enjoy having their particular status in our lives acknowledged.
They want to experience genuine compassion and care, not the kind that results from overwhelming insecurity or neediness.
They desire a sense of affection.
Women are the world’s primary caregivers and givers, and we may take the initiative and lead by example for our male partners and female friends. Many women just are not aware of the relational talents they possess. We often neglect the great qualities of our male partners because we become so preoccupied with the flaws. Women are proactive; if we can learn how to handle and react to specific situations, we can affect change. The examples that follow are based on some fantastic advice that I recently read in a Nikki Katz online article. I’ll now share some thoughts that were a tremendous source of inspiration with you:
•Women are incredibly good at working as a team and helping everyone keep things going smoothly. Women are skilled at forming partnerships with their men, which enables us to expand the connection further.
•Women communicate really well. We are excellent communicators and excellent listeners when it comes to communicating with our troops. We may establish the tone of the conversation and create a secure environment for open communication when we speak with the males in our lives.
We can easily come up with ideas, answers, and suggestions for various situations since women are creative, and if one thing doesn’t work, we try another. Men like our inventiveness and depend on it to come up with solutions to problems that will keep the partnership pleasant and strong.
•Women have a tremendous capacity to inspire and uplift those around us as well as themselves. We are letting our men realize their potential when we give them more freedom. We may encourage our guys to pursue their goals, assist in realizing our own potential, and watch as our union develops into something truly wonderful.
•Women are terrific nurturers; we are able to predict what someone will need, when they will need it, and how to give it to them. As we develop the friendship, we
•Women are terrific nurturers; we are able to predict what someone will need, when they will need it, and how to give it to them. When we nurture a relationship, we kindly take care of both our partner and ourselves so that the union can grow and succeed.
•Women are compassionate people. We have a kindly, receptive, and loving nature. This kind of protection from life’s rigors is necessary in our relationships with our guys. Our male partners will return the favor if we show them compassion and tenderness.
•Women are open to sharing their flaws and are vulnerable. It is simple to be open and reveal oneself when we feel safe in our connection. Being open and vulnerable in our interactions is really beneficial,
•Women are vulnerable and adept at admitting their flaws. It is simple to be honest and reveal oneself in a relationship where we feel protected. Due to the fact that we are not shutting down or becoming defensive, being vulnerable is a highly useful thing to do for our relationships. We are saying, “Here I am,” while holding out our hands.
•Women are capable of being honest about their emotions and thoughts. We are enabling ourselves to open up to someone else when we are honest and open. We make room for the connection to be beautiful when we are open. He can be himself, feel loved, and give us his best when we open our hearts and minds to him.
•We women are innately receptive. Although we may have a tendency to believe that giving is more powerful, receiving is also giving, and it is impossible to completely offer to our men if we are unable to receive. Whatever perspective we take on the sexual act, women are the ones who receive the male into our body. Receiving is a beautiful gift for women since it frees up our man to give to us.
•Women are the world’s natural healers. We are skilled at relieving discomfort. When our guy is in pain, we may aid in his healing by showing him compassion, openness, and love.
It has been said that women’s intuition is a myth, yet this is untrue. Women are exceptionally intuitive. In action, this is our sixth sense. We can see the demands of our relationship and our guys using this unique psychic gift.
•When we trust our intuition, it is simple to imagine the future; and when we imagine the future, we can make it come true. Women can view the relationship however they want it to be—happy, romantic, passionate, loving, etc.
These critical and judgmental attitudes need to stop. Women must cultivate a loving attitude toward themselves, examine their own hearts, and widen their hearts to love the men in their lives. It is helpless and damaging to continue to see ourselves as victims when we criticize our male relationships. Do we really want that? The emotional divide between men and women widens when we make harsh, negative, or critical remarks about our male relationships. Putting down the guys in our lives makes us feel angry and negative, and anger stands in the way of love and closeness.
Last but not least, does it really matter if we treat the guys in our lives well or wrong? Being right is less essential than love. When you pick negative attitudes and behaviors in order to feel joyful, love is meaningless. Wouldn’t we choose love over being right if given the chance? Only love can be chosen.
