What distinguishes a true friend?
That’s a question I’ve been thinking about recently. As I reflected on my personal friendship experiences over the years, I realized that, while I’ve had many wonderful ones, the majority of those bonds have faded with the passage of time.
Some friendships were stretched due to distance, while others naturally faded as we moved through different stages of life. Despite the losses, much was gained. I realized that the most beautiful aspect of friendships is that each one of them invites us to discover a new world within ourselves that we were unaware existed.
Friends entice you to join their group. They expose you to new ideas and ways of life. You internalize and interpret their world in the same way that they do yours.
“Each friend represents a world in us, a world that may not have been born until they arrived, and it is only through this meeting that a new world is born.”
This is so true based from my experience
Whether you realize it or not, all of your friendships have taught you something over the years. True friendships, on the other hand, simply do not age. Regardless of the years or distance between you, you simply pick up where you left off when you see each other again.
True friendships are always with you; they are part of your identity, in the cradle of your memories, and within your heart. True friendships are those that withstand the passage of time.
So, with that said, here are eight habits I’ve observed among my truly genuine friends. They demonstrate the qualities we want to see in others and the qualities we can develop in order to be better friends ourselves.
1. True friends demonstrate the beauty of vulnerability.
True friends don’t brag about their accomplishments or try to show how strong they are. They don’t hide behind self-made barriers that give the appearance of emotional strength and mental superiority.
True friends are genuine. They are now open. They are as open as they can be, and we identify with them because of it. They show us their awkwardness and entertain us with all the embarrassing stories that have happened to them because they understand that taking life too seriously leads to a dull and strenuous existence.
We must cultivate the courage to be imperfect — and vulnerable — in order to be authentic.
True friends give us the gift of vulnerability and share the entirety of their most authentic selves with us.
How to Implement This Habit: Show your friends your flaws, share your insecurities, and admit your failures to them to demonstrate your trust in them. Being more genuine allows you to become more human. Find strength in your vulnerability; by doing so, you remind them (and yourself) that no one is perfect and that we all have rivers of difficulties to navigate.
2. They make every effort to attend your milestones.
I’ve lived away from home for the majority of my life. I’ve studied and worked in six different countries while studying and working abroad.
So I’ve made good friends all over the world, and even though I don’t see them as often as I’d like, those who come through when it counts are dear to my heart.
When it comes to genuine friendship, big milestone gestures leave an indelible mark. Why? Because it indicates that this person is still making an effort in this relationship. Consider the people who sent you personal notes on your birthday rather than simply posting on your wall. Consider the person who wrote to express their admiration and best wishes for the launch of your new project. When someone in your close circle died, the person who sent you a heartfelt note of condolences.
How did you react to it? I’m sure the answer is ‘special.’
How to Implement This Habit: Make it a habit to attend your friends’ milestones. Remind them that, despite physical distance and differences in life stages, you still genuinely care about and for them.
3. They are helpful, especially when you are in need.
True friends will go out of their way to be there for you. Whether you see each other every day of the year or haven’t spoken in a few months, true friendships are defined by someone’s willingness to give up what they’re doing to support you when you’re in need.
They’ll meet you in the field when your days are dark and your energy is low. If they have a car, they’ll pick you up and drive you somewhere where you can stick your arm out the window and let the wind refresh your senses. If they don’t, they’ll set up an impromptu hangout to divert your attention away from your racing thoughts. And, if they are,
Someone who is genuinely kind is a true friend. They turn your frown into a smile, make you laugh, and leave you as light as that fluffy cloud in the sky.
How to Implement This Habit: Learn to be considerate. Keep in mind how easy it is to lose perspective and undervalue our own inner strength at times. So, if your friend is going through a difficult time, don’t falsely flatter her with empty words. Rather, gently nudge her into the light by removing her own shadows.
4. True friends feed your strengths.
A true friend is someone who will help you see your own potential, even if you can’t see it yourself. Instead of making you feel small, they nurture your strengths and do everything in their power to rekindle the fire in your eyes.
They encourage you to try when you’re too afraid to walk the path by reminding you of your abilities. They encourage you to keep going when you’re too afraid to because they remind you of the depth of your inner strength.
Avoid those who try to diminish your ambitions. Small people always do this, but the truly great inspire you to believe that you, too, can achieve greatness.
How to use this habit: Pay close attention to your friends who are feeling lost and broken. Don’t pass judgment; simply listen. Remember that we all have a tendency to lose sight of our own strengths from time to time. Remind them of their inner light and beauty by opening their eyes. That is how you assist them in putting themselves back together.
5. They always give more than they take and keep their word.
Last week, I contacted an old friend I hadn’t seen in over three years to seek her advice on a possible relocation. She immediately called to tell me about her personal experience and how she handled the situation. She offered to assist me further by introducing me to some of her contacts in that city.
She sent five emails today, introducing me to five people in her network. She followed through on her promise.
The funny thing is that we don’t have a long history of friendship. We studied together at university and received our degrees on stage together. We had that memorable moment — me spontaneously tossing my degree onto the floor and lifting her up in celebration in front of a roaring audience of over 3,000 people — and that was it.
Yes, it was a historic moment, and yes, I was a crazy kid at the time. But, to me, that’s a sign of true friendship: someone going out of their way to help you without you even asking. A person who always keeps their word. A person who helps you without expecting anything in return; they simply do it because they are genuine and care.
How to apply this habit: If you want to be a better friend, look for ways to help your friends right away. You should give more than you take. Most importantly, stick to your word. It earns you a lot of respect and admiration.
6.They value your presence and encourage you to love yourself a little more.
Self-acceptance and self-love are two of the most difficult issues we face. We are prone to being unfriendly to ourselves. That is why we require a friend who truly values our presence in their lives and reminds us to love ourselves when we forget.
When we feel unworthy, we need a friend who will remind us of our self-worth. We need a friend who will pick us up when we fall, who will pull us out of the blue as soon as they notice us slowly fading into it.
A friend is someone who knows everything about you and still cares about you.
A true friend accepts you exactly as you are. They know everything about you and your flaws, but they still choose to love you. And it is through that love that you are reminded that, despite the fact that there are billions of people in the world, they chose you as their own friend, and it is for this reason that you should also love yourself.
How to Implement This Habit: Give your friend a hug and tell them how much you appreciate them. Remind them that “friends are the family you choose in your life,” and that you have chosen them consciously.
7. They are genuinely interested in your life and do not pass judgment.
Genuine friends are those who are curious about ‘what you’re up to these days.’ Not to judge you, compare their lives to yours, or compare themselves to you, but simply out of genuine interest in your life.
They’re interested in your trials and tribulations to see how they can assist you in overcoming them, as well as your triumphs and successes to see how they can join in the celebrations.
Genuine friends foster a judgment-free environment. They know you’re as flawed as they are, so they won’t be surprised by all the strange and silly things you do. They won’t be surprised by the leaps you’ll take or the summits you’ll reach.
This is such a lovely quality to have in a person — the ability to understand without passing judgment — and it’s one of the main criteria I use to distinguish true friendships from the rest.
How to Implement This Habit: Stop passing judgment. Instead, start listening and supporting.
8. They bring joy to even the most depressing situations.
At the end of the day, a friend is someone who makes you happy. A true friend is someone who will laugh with you at the most ridiculous jokes, sing along to the worst songs, and dance with you to the silent tune in your head.
They’re the type of person who embraces your eccentricities while openly displaying their own.
Can you do nothing with the other person? That is the true test of friendship. Can you appreciate life’s most straightforward moments?
A true friend is someone who will sit with you and watch the sunset without saying anything but still feel completely connected to you in that moment of awe. Your silence has significance. There’s a sense of calm in the air.
How to Implement This Habit: When you can literally do nothing but enjoy these moments of utter simplicity together, that is a sign of true friendship. Make it a habit to brighten the lives of the people you truly care about. How? By giving them your undivided attention.
What is important to you?
A true friend, in my opinion, is someone who will pick up my favorite chocolate bar on their way to my house without even asking, because they know it will bring me joy. It’s a sign that they notice, appreciate, and consider ways to make my life a little brighter.
True friendships endure because we carry them with us everywhere we go. Whatever way you define a true friend’s characteristics or habits, here’s the message I want to leave you with: First and foremost, be grateful for the genuine friends you already have in your life. Second, try to be a better friend to them.
